Shitty start to the morning. Someone hacked into my Chase online account and used all of my rewards points to buy online gift cards. People are really shitty. Running to meet James and Will at PAO so we can start the annual stuff.
I’ve been thinking about how I am, how my family is, and what the next 20 years of my life will be like. It won’t be easy being with me. Statistically, I’m supposed to go through deep depression two more times in my lifetime. I don’t think Ghyrn knew what he signed up for. Maybe he’s trying to find a nice way out of it. If he wants a Palo Alto housewife, we’re never going to make each other happy anyway.
At least this time I’m trying to address the depression with help, rather than just drinking my way through the it and then ultimately relying on God. The funny thing is, I don’t think I was ever happier and more at peace than I was during grad school. I really miss 2009-2011.
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12:22PM
No reception in the hangar. Got a voicemail from dad when I went out to take a break. I was ready for attack mode if he was calling to ask me more money. Listened to the voicemail and it was pretty cryptic. Just a “can you call me back”.
Ok. Called dad back. Apparently, the Credit Union next door to the restaurant actually filed a lawsuit against us. I can never know for sure if what he’s telling me is accurate though. A lot gets lost in translation. Right now, with the Berkeley stuff, I’m operating in a mode of: if stuff doesn’t directly slap me across the face, I’m not going to worry about it.
I feel like I’m doing everything I’m doing out of a sense of responsibility. Out of a sense of reducing the amount of shit i’m going to have to deal with later on (i.e., when the parents are old or sick, etc.). Not out of a sense of love.
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11:26PM
Splitting up to grab what we each wanted for “dinner”, and then meeting at home was nice.
Today was nice, though. I felt like we were a part of something, working productively on something together. See? Positive thoughts.
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