8:10AM
Last night was nice. Sleep is magic.
Ghyrn also didn’t put pressure on me and is being patient. I love him for that.
One thing came to mind during the course of this exercise. My mom didn’t show that much, if any, physical affection for us when we were growing up. We hug now when we say bye, but I think there wasn’t any physical affection between us between the ages of 4 and 22 years old. On the flip side, when she was upset at us, she didn’t talk to us or even make eye contact with us. Sometimes for days. There’d still be food on the table though, so I knew she loved us enough for us to be physically okay. And she’d take us to school. I must have gotten used to it or numbed to it at an early age. Maybe that’s why I don’t really attribute any weight to my “negative body language”. I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
Just another shitty piece of my history I’ve dug up in the process of writing stuff down. I feel like this exercise is releasing parts of my subconscious I’ve suppressed.
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6:14PM
Just got off a call with the Public Adjuster. He’s getting annoyed that my cousin is dragging things on too long. We’ve already lost another week. I thought she was helping before, but now it seems like she’s sabotaging things a bit. Maybe not. Still, she has no urgency because she literally has no skin in the game. She’s not direct kin of the property owners. See why I don’t trust anyone based on my family experiences?
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7:01PM
For a moment/afternoon, we feel like a team again.
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